Did you remember Valentine’s Day, or did you get yourself in trouble with your significant other? Perhaps your ADHD forgetfulness has you in the doghouse?

I totally screwed up this year. In my defense, we’re not even 2 full months into 2012 and it’s already been a doozy of a year. Life has been moving at an insanely intense pace for the last few weeks and I’ve been struggling to keep up.

Most recently, our entire household caught a stomach bug. My 1-year old daughter, my partner, and I spent the past weekend feeling really sick. No one was even well enough to drive to the store to get some Gatorade to prevent us all from dehydrating. Instead, a family member went to the store for us and dropped off some Gatorade at the door, refusing to come in and be exposed to the evil virus that had us all debilitated.

Yesterday was the first day we started to feel human again. And yet…

…my partner still managed to have a Valentine’s Day card and candy waiting for me. How does she do it?

Clearly, she plans ahead. I’m sure she purchased the card weeks ago, and the candy, too. So the fact that something came up this past weekend didn’t matter at all. Unlike me, who figured I’d just pick something up at the last minute, not counting on being sick in bed at the last minute.

But it’s the thought that counts, right?

Too bad my thoughts go something like this:

I have to pick up something for Valentine’s Day next month.

I have to pick up something for Valentine’s Day next week.

I have to pick something up for Valentine’s Day before it’s too late.

Oh, shit, it’s Valentine’s Day!


Does your ADHD have you in the doghouse tonight? Tell me about it in the comments…

Jennifer Koretsky About Jennifer Koretsky

Jennifer Koretsky, SCAC is the Managing Partner of the ADD Management Group, LLC and Chief Executive Officer of ADHDmanagement.com. She is a Senior Certified ADHD Coach, and the author of Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD.


  1. Nope not in the dog house this year. My son who is also ADD taught me a great trick and that is to buy the Valentines and Birthday gifts while Christmas shopping. We went shopping together last year and bought our wives jewelry for all occasions. My wife loved her ruby bracelet this morning. Have to hand it to my son for this great idea. Husbands take note.

    • Jennifer Koretsky Jennifer Koretsky says:

      Great idea, Jim! Why not take advantage of Christmas and holiday sales when Valentine’s Day follows so quickly after? :-)

  2. I’m the struggling spouse of a husband who has raging ADD. Gift giving has never been his forte, but this Valentines day landed him on the couch. At 2pm he hadn’t done anything to acknowledge the day so I asked if he had forgotten. He said no but he wouldn’t have a gift till after I came home from work at 10pm (all I really wanted was a hug, kiss and attention, but asking for that would cause one of his tailspin arguments.) I come home at 10pm to find a scribbled, half-legible homemade card and a reuseable water bottle on the kitchen table with him watching Tv on the couch. He had nothing else going on all day and that’s what he could come up with. That was his version of Valentines day. I cant distinguish what’s ADD and what’s disrespect and lack of caring.
    I told him how v-day hurt my feelings and it started a huge fight. He said I don’t appreciate him and it hurt him that I asked him in the afternoon if he had forgotten about the holiday. I feel like I’m choking everyday under his temper and defenses. How do I know if its just his ADD and adderall or if hes really just a horrible husband?

    • Jennifer Koretsky Jennifer Koretsky says:

      Carrie, I’m sorry to hear about your difficulties! I can recommend 2 books that can help: “The ADHD Affect on Marriage” by Melissa Orlov and “Married to Distraction” by Ned and Sue Hallowell. Good luck!