Sound familiar, ADHDers?

Enjoy your weekend!

Organization and time management happen to be two of the biggest challenges for adults with ADHD.

Here’s something that you may not know or you may not have ever realized... organization and time management are all about one thing: planning. And this is where adults with ADHD get tripped up.

Pay attention to the people in your life who don’t have ADHD, and see how they go about organizing a space, managing their schedule, or working on a new project. You’ll notice that people without ADHD almost always start with a plan. It’s just something they do! It’s a part of the process.

Then pay attention to how you approach the same kind of situation. Without the proper skills and resources, we almost never start with a plan. It’s a completely foreign idea to many of us! Instead, adults with ADHD like to jump right into the project head first. And sometimes that works, especially if there is an impending deadline or tremendous pressure to get something done. But, more often than not, jumping into a project without a plan just leads to overwhelm.

You see all the things that need to be done, and you don’t know where to start. So you become paralyzed, you get frustrated, you procrastinate. And, of course, you feel bad about yourself! But those feelings and those challenges can all be avoided by making a plan in advance.

Your plan is like your roadmap. Imagine that you're going on vacation. You're driving to a different state that's a few hours away. Would you get in the car and start driving without a map, or directions, or a GPS? In theory, you could get on the highway and follow the road signs, but your trip would be pretty stressful, and you'd probably take a lot of wrong turns!

It's much easier to get to your destination when you're being guided, and you have a tool that instructs you on where to go next. This is what planning is all about. Your plan is the roadmap that tells you were to go next. It eliminates the frustration that comes with not knowing where to start or not knowing what to do next. When you create a plan, you take control over the situation.

There are two keys to creating a plan successfully:

1. You must plan the time to plan. Understand that creating your plan is just one step in the process of getting the project done. It’s a step that can’t be skipped.
2. Create your plan when you’re calm and centered, and not when you’re in the middle of the project or in the middle of the chaos. You never want to walk into a cluttered space and make your plan there, and you never want to try and plan your day in the middle of the action. Instead, step back from all your tasks and to-dos and plan out how you’re going to tackle them in advance.

I know that organization and time management aren’t easy, and that they’ve probably caused you a lot of stress and frustration in the past. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do it. Give yourself credit, and trust that you can do it. You can take control of your space and time. Start with a plan.

It's been well established that in a mixed-ADHD relationship

It's important to manage your expectations and keep up a high level of communication within your relationship, but what about communicating outside the relationship, when the world looks at you as a couple?

Kelly has always considered herself to be a punctual person. Sometimes she's even a few minutes early to appointments and engagements. But when she got together with Rob, who has ADHD, Rob started making them late. He's never ready when he's supposed to be. In fact, sometimes he's still in the shower when Kelly has her car keys in her hand. They showed up at a friend's birthday party 45 minutes late, they completely missed the cocktail hour at his cousin's wedding, and they even lost  a hard-to-get dinner reservation for their anniversary by arriving almost a whole hour late. Their friends and family have started to get frustrated with them, and Kelly's mom is even nagging her about their habitual lateness.

Kelly has two responsibilities in this situation. One, she needs to work with Rob on being more punctual, however she decides to do that. She could tell him the party is at 7:30 when it's really at 8:00, lay out his clothes for him, take his phone away so he's not distracted, etc. That's up to the two of them to figure out. But Kelly (and Rob) also have the responsibility of managing others' expectations of them as a couple.

Kelly started RSVPing to parties with a little note saying "Thanks for the invite. We can't wait to see you! But expect us to be 20 minutes late. We'll make it up to you with a nice bottle of wine!" She also asked her mother to start inviting them over 30 minutes before she actually wants them to arrive. By doing these little things, she's adjusting people's expectations without feeling like she has to apologize or feel guilty.

Jen and I, as a couple and now as a family, do two very important things: we make fewer commitments than other couples/families, and we are very upfront about our boundaries and limitations.

On a typical Saturday, our friends Kristen and Jeff do their grocery shopping, take the kids to the park, straighten up the house, go for a run, and then have friends over for dinner and board games. Jen and I, on the same Saturday, can take our daughter to the park and straighten up the house. We just can't do as much in a day as other families, and that's okay! Jen, who has ADHD, needs time to ease into her day, and she also has to manage her energy so she doesn't burn out by late afternoon. And even though I do not have ADHD, I am not a person with boundless energy. I am simply not able to accomplish what some others can in a single day. I used to get really down on myself for it, but it wasn't doing me any good. We're much better off making fewer commitments.

Secondly, we are very honest about our limitations as a family. We make no qualms about telling visiting friends and family that they need to stay at a hotel. We are simply not the kind of family that can accommodate overnight guests. Each of us, including our 15-month-old, needs to do things on our own time at our own pace. We also need plenty of our own space to feel comfortable. Likewise, we do not stay overnight at other people's homes. We would much rather spend the money on a hotel and have our own space and do things on our own schedule. Not everyone is like us, but we've figured out what our limitations are as a family, and we make them a priority.

These are just a few examples of managing others' expectations as an ADHD couple or family. Your unique situation has its own challenges and limitations. Your job is to figure out what they are, and then figure out how to accommodate them! Communication with friends and family is the most important element.

Have you found helpful ways of managing others' expectations of you and your partner? Please share your experiences and advice in the comments below!

1Password is a fully developed simplification and security app (on multiple platforms) that is the ultimate way to only need to remember one password and still have all the security of multiple long passwords via a super-long and secret algorithm.

Basically, 1Password manages and secures passwords as well as completely automates logins, whether it be a website account, your online banking or PayPal account, or anything else of that nature.

Here are a few features of 1Password that I like:

1. It stores a variety of vital information, like your web usernames and passwords, information that you might find in your wallet (licenses, social security numbers, credit cards, etc.), software serial numbers, non-web account information, and freeform secure notes to store any data you'd like to keep safe from prying eyes.
2. It locks your data behind your choice of a strong password or a 4-digit unlock code. Even if your mobile device is stolen or misplaced, your 1Password information is safe.
3. It syncs safely and securely from 1Password for Mac and 1Password for Windows using the free Dropbox service. (To read up on how to sync with Dropbox, you can check out the 1Password User Guide.)
4. It supports multitasking by syncing your data even when you switch to another app or lock your device. Or you can automatically lock 1Password when switching to another app or set it to lock after a time-out.
5. It lets you copy and paste. You can easily copy passwords into other applications or credit card numbers into web forms.
6. 1Password is available for Mac, Windows, iPhone, iPad, and Android.

Here are my 1Password app cons:

• It is $14.99 for the iPad version and $49 for the Mac version.
• You need to use the free service Dropbox for full potential.
• It is not for Blackberry.

And here are my 1Password app pros:

• It is on every major platform.
• It is extremely easy to set up and use.
• It sets itself up as you login to your daily activities.
• It saves you the trouble of having to remember every single login and password you need on a daily basis. .

To get this app for Mac, Windows, iPhone, iPad, and Android, visit 1Password.com

Are you using 1Password? Tell us what you like—or don't like—about it in the comments!

Mark talks to us about smart phones, apps, websites, and more that you'll definitely want to check out! Take a listen to:

• Find out which smart phone Mark recommends
• Discover some apps that Mark and I find particularly helpful when it comes to managing our ADHD, and our lives
• Get some tips on making the most of the technology-based tools that are available
• And, once again, be inspired by a couple of positive ADHDers who are loving life and helping others do the same!

Download MP3 | Subscribe with iTunes

And if you like what Mark has to say, then do be sure to read Mark's posts here on ADHDmanagement.com, as well as visit his website at ADHDapps.me, and follow him on Twitter at @ADHDapps!

The ADHDmanagement.com Podcast Series regularly interviews experts about hot topics in ADHD and offers tips and resources for managing adult ADHD, along with a healthy dose of humor. Don't forget to subscribe on iTunes!

Act now to pay just $77 for the entire event!

That's $50 off the regular fee, and a savings of 39%!

Register at http://medication-adhd.com

We ran this event last year and the response was simply phenomenal. The number of ADHDers who were hungry for this information was way beyond what we even expected. So we're offering the Summit again this year, for anyone who might have missed it last time.

The AD/HD Medication Matters Summit is a live, online event that is designed to help you cut through the confusion and get the facts about AD/HD and medication. It will help you, the medical consumer, understand your options when it comes to using medications to treat you or your child's AD/HD.

Prominent neuropsychiatrist Theresa Cerulli, MD will be joining me in this online summit to teach you everything you need to know about AD/HD and medications. Over the course of 2 evenings, you'll:

1. Gain an overview of AD/HD and the brain
2. Learn how medications work in the brain
3. Receive a comprehensive review of the medications that are available to treat AD/HD
4. Grasp the difference between stimulant and nonstimulant, brand name and generic, and long and short acting medications
5. Recognize which symptoms and challenges can and can't be helped by AD/HD medications
6. Discover how to tell when you've got the right medication at the right dose
7. Uncover the common side effects of medications, and learn what you can do to avoid them
8. Assess the medications used to treat common coexisting conditions, like depression and anxiety
9. Find out if certain medications are better for women vs. men, kids vs. adults, and the inattentive vs. the hyperactive
10. Understand when it's NOT safe to take AD/HD medications
11. Evaluate some complementary treatments that you can use in conjunction with, or as an alternative to, medications
12. Determine what to do if you disagree with your doctor's treatment plan
13. Get your questions answered by a neuropsychiatrist who is an expert on AD/HD

The AD/HD Medication Matters Summit takes place online and in the comfort of your own home or office. Join us on May 15 & 16 (Tuesday and Wednesday) from 7-9pm EDT. Don't worry if you can't attend live, because the presentation will be recorded and you will be able to download all the materials.

You'll get 4 hours of structured information and practical strategies for less than the cost of 1 hour with your doctor!

Register to receive:

• Access to the live webinar presentations (2 evenings, May 15 & 16)
• Recordings of the presentations - yours to download and keep!
• Presentation slides - yours to download and keep!
• Access to the members-only website in which you can connect with your peers, ask questions, share resources, and discuss your experiences

Take Advantage of the Early Bird Discount and Save $50
Sign up TODAY (April 30th) and pay just $77 for everything included above!
Register here: http://medication-adhd.com

Join me as we cut through the confusion and get the facts about medication and AD/HD!

Will I "see" you there? If so, leave a comment and let me know!

P.S. There's no right or wrong answer when it comes to medication and your AD/HD. Whether or not you take medication is a personal decision that you have to make with the help of your doctor.  Having a thorough understanding of your options can help you make the best decision for yourself or your child. That's what the AD/HD Medication Matters Summit is all about!

Happy Friday, ADHDers!

This image appeared on someecards.com.

First and foremost, my daughter (seen over there on the left) was well worth any difficulty I had being off medication, being pregnant, and going through an incredibly difficult labor. Doctors agree that the psychostimulants used to treat ADHD should not be used by pregnant and nursing mothers. The science just isn't there to say it's harmless so, for me, there was no question that I would be stopping the meds.

And let me just say that it's absolutely possible to live successfully without medication. (See Rob Hanly's posts.) Lots of people do it. However, there are also lots of people who would never want to be without medication, because the help that it provides is just priceless. I fall somewhere in the middle.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in my mid-20s. I resisted medication at first before eventually "caving in" and trying it. It took quite a long time for me to find the medication that worked well for me but, once I did, the difference was astounding. Life became much easier. I was able to focus and block out distractions for longer periods of time, I had an easier time transitioning from task to task, and I was able to slow down long enough to plan my day, among other things.

However, there's a popular saying among ADHD coaches like myself: "Pills don't build skills." Medication is not a magic bullet that will change everything. In my case, and in many other cases, medication acted like a set of training wheels on a bicycle. My medication gave me the added support that I needed when I was first learning about my ADHD and building my ADHD management skills.

In addition to taking medication at the time, I was in therapy to better understand myself and to increase my personal awareness. After being in therapy for many years, I sought out support groups to learn all that I could about my ADHD. I also did a lot of research and read a ton of books. When I found out about ADHD coaching, I decided to work with a coach. And when I felt like I really had my stuff together, I began training to become a coach myself.

I worked hard to build my ADHD management skills, and I've been supporting other adults in doing the same for about 10 years now. So it really wasn't such a big deal when I stopped taking ADHD medication. I rely on the "5 Essential Skills for Managing Adult ADD" that I discuss in my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD. Practicing those skills on a daily basis is one of my highest priorities.

Sure, some days were harder than others. But that's just the way it goes with pregnancy, anyway. Some days you feel great and get a lot done. Other days you just need to sleep as much as you possibly can, and not worry about being productive. During every trimester of pregnancy, you really need to take it easy on yourself and greatly lower the expectation of what you can comfortably accomplish in a day.

After pregnancy, I breast fed my daughter for about a year. And for the first nine months of that, all was pretty good. The flow of happy hormones through my body had me in a great mood most of the time. And even if new motherhood was tough and a lot of things weren't getting done, it was okay, because those hormones kept me feeling relatively stress-free.

By the end of that year, though, I was really ready to get back to my "normal life." Don't get me wrong, I have loved being a mother from the very first minute. But there did come a time when I was longing for structure that was set largely by me, and not by an infant's hunger schedule. But by the time I found myself in that place, I also found myself without all those happy hormones to keep my stress-free. I knew that I would need to go back on the meds. And I was totally fine with that.

As Dr. Theresa Cerulli said in last year's AD/HD Medication Matters Summit, "it's not all or nothing with ADHD psychostimulants. You can be on them when you need them, and off them when you don't." Now happens to be one of those times when I need them. I have a new life, a new schedule, new routines, and new structure. And until I adjust to all that, I have no problem using Concerta as a set of training wheels, once again.

But whether I do or don't take medication to help manage my ADHD, one thing always remains the same: pills really don't build skills. No matter where I am in my life, the ADHD management skills that I've worked hard to build play a crucial role in my success, and my happiness.

Do you take medication for your AD/HD? Why or why not? Tell me about it in the comments!

And if you're not quite at a point in your life where you're ready to go without medication, or if you're just beginning to think about taking AD/HD medication, then you may be interested in joining us for the AD/HD Medication Matters Online Summit.

The AD/HD Medication Matters Summit is a live, online event that is designed to help you cut through the confusion and get the facts about AD/HD and medication. We ran this event last year and we were so pleasantly surprised when the event was attended by four times the amount of people we expected!

Prominent neuropsychiatrist Theresa Cerulli, MD will be joining me in this online summit May 15 & 16 to teach you everything you need to know about AD/HD and medications. Learn more here. And don't forget to register by April 30 to save 39% off the registration fee and pay just $77 to attend!

As you head into the weekend, remember:
Stress Management = ADHD Management!

Have a good one!

Image credit: nickmom.com
And thanks to Amanda S. for sharing!

I’m constantly shocked by people who complain about their struggle with ADHD when they have no right to.

What do I mean by this? Hear me when I say that if you’re swilling a 1.25L bottle of coke in the afternoon to wash down the chips you’ve just had about two hours before sitting down for a big ol’ plate of fried chicken, it’s not your ADHD that’s stopping you from getting better sleep or being more productive...

It’s your lifestyle.

No matter what your approach is with ADHD, whether you choose to go medication free or use the meds, it’s important that you make it as effective as possible by improving your lifestyle and treating your ADHD with the best foundations possible.

Is the best way to do this by using heavily guarded secrets, available only to the Global Elite and Top-Performing Athletes? I don’t believe so.

The best way to do this is by focusing on the basics.

The Best (And Easiest) Ways To Build A Better Lifestyle With Rock Solid Foundations

1.  Turn off the lights

Would you believe that poor sleep has been linked to an increase in breast cancer risk?

It has, and for good reason. You see, sleep deprivation is responsible for increasing the release of insulin and cortisol and lowering testosterone, DHEA and growth hormone. Insulin and cortisol increases result in insulin resistance and a spare tire around your stomach, while lower levels of testosterone, DHEA and growth hormone has a negative effect on your body’s tissue repair process.

In a nutshell - bad sleep means a bad body.

So how do we ensure that you get better sleep? By addressing the three pillars of sleep: how smoothly you fall asleep and wake up, the quality of the sleep you get and the quantity of the sleep you get.

The quickest way to do this is to take the time to unwind at the end of each day without electronic devices, sleep in a completely blacked out environment (no lights, no tv, no phones, no displays) and sleep for a minimum of 7.5 hours.

2. Get moving!

Let’s get one thing straight - the collection of highly developed muscles, organs, bones and skin that you call a body has not gone through the evolutionary process so that you can sit on the couch and watch TV.

Your body was made to move.

Now barring any permanent or debilitating injuries, you should be getting out and about and being active a couple of times per week - preferably with a mix of High Intensity Training and endurance. This activity alone will increase your positivity, focus and health through a mixture of biological and chemical reactions, giving you the foundation you need to really take charge of your ADHD.

3. Fuel your body like the finely tuned machine that it is

Just like you wouldn’t put second rate fuel or watered down sugar into a Porsche and expect it to run to potential, neither should you expect the same of your body. You need to give your body the fuel it needs to run at maximum potential - and with minimal downside.

In The S.E.E.D. Approach to Drug Free ADHD, I outline a collection of simple guides and rules that can help you start fueling your body in the right way with minimal confusion. Of all these rules, this is my favorite:

“Shop at the supermarket, but eat like it doesn’t exist.”

Don’t fill your shopping cart with processed foods, foods with high sugar content or old produce. Instead, fill it with protein rich, fresh produce including (but not limited to) cuts of meat, fresh vegetables and some fruits.

By ensuring that your diet is high in what your body needs to perform, and low in the crap that slows it down and hinders your abilities, you’ll ensure that you’re working towards optimal daily performance with ease... and building a strong life foundation in the process.

 4.  Stick with it

Ever heard the saying “Rome wasn’t built in a day”? The same goes for building a foundation for a better life with ADHD.

For the majority of your life, you’ve probably held habits that haven’t been beneficial to your ADHD. Maybe you haven’t been as active as you could be, perhaps you’ve been fueling your body with subpar foods, or maybe you just haven’t been getting enough sleep.

The process of building rock solid foundations for ADHD happens day by day as you start, stick with and begin to benefit from the actions you take.

Why Changing Your Lifestyle Will Change Everything

I look at your lifestyle as being for the foundation for everything you do in life - your health, your concentration, your relationships, the list goes on. As a result, if you want the various areas of your life to be as optimal as possible, you need to build strong foundations.

The metaphor that illustrates this best is that of a house. The house is your life and the way that you live, and your lifestyle is the foundations you built it on. If you build a house on sand, it won’t be able to weather a storm and will eventually fall apart... but if you build your house on the rocks, you’ll find that you can take most challenges head on without fearing for your safety.

What can you do to improve your foundations? If you’ve got any questions, pop them in the comments below and I’ll get back to you.