The important part is how you deal with it.
This isn’t a new concept, nor is it one that needs to be dissected here. What I do want to share with you, though, is how it relates to an ADHD Support Network. As they say, a problem shared is a problem halved.
1. They’ll Hold You To A Gold Standard
Do you know the easiest way to get someone to improve their performance? Set a high standard, and challenge them to meet it. The same goes for ADHD Support Networks – when you build your exclusive support network, you want to select people that will push you to reach your potential and won’t let you slack off.
From personal trainers to life partners in crimes – hell, even lovers that you meet for an intense, but short, time – those people in your life who will push you will make you. Actively align yourself with these people, and watch yourself live up to their great standards.
2. They’ll Make You Grounded
Let’s be blunt – there will be days when you’ll let your self control go out the window, and you might not have realized it.
On these days, it’s useful to have someone that isn’t worried about hurting your feelings and will pull you into line. They’ll be honest, blunt, and direct, and although you might hate them for 15 minutes, you’ll appreciate it after the fact.
Keeping grounded reality is pivotal.
3. They’ll Lift You Up, Too
Yes, there will be days when you feel like trash. You’re going to hate the world, hate yourself and do everything you can to self-destruct.
It happens. Deal with it.
And then deal with the fact that you were awesome enough to hand pick people who you knew would be able to lift you up on your dark days. As long as you don’t play the victim (a post for another time), and are just as supportive in return, the team in your support network will be ready and willing to help you up on those days that are the hardest.
4. They’ll Give You A Sound Board
When you’re in the zone, you’re impassioned and engaging. You’re confident. But sometimes, it doesn’t just “happen.”
And that’s why you need a sound board.
A lot of the common ‘negative’ traits and manifestations of ADHD are rooted in low self-esteem and poor confidence, and this is not an easy thing to fix on the go. By having someone you can trust to bounce your ideas and thoughts off, you allow yourself to organize your thoughts and views on the fly before they’re actively put under pressure.
Bonus Points if you get someone that challenges you on the beliefs and thoughts you have in a constructive manner, as well as listening.
5. They’ll Keep You Accountable… Constructively
And then there will be days where you are, quite frankly, being lazy. Remove thumb from behind is not a clear enough instruction on these days, and you need someone to not pull you into line, but keep you on your toes.
Welcome your accountability squad, the Support Network.
Whether it’s a partner, boss, friend or even your mum, being held accountable keeps you on task and focused on the critical mission at hand – not on what’s been getting posted on Facebook.
The One Big Mistake That You Need To Avoid
I’ve met a lot of ADHDers that have one major trait in common – focusing on their ADHD. Yes, you’ve got it and yes, it can get in the way of doing things in a particular way.
So can missing a limb or having poor vision, but life goes on regardless. And that’s the key.
When you spend time focusing on your ADHD, your support network feel like they’re more babysitter than ally – and that’s a sure fire way to lose their support. Even if your support network doesn’t know that they’re you’re support network (something that is fine in it’s own right), you need to treat them as the powerful tools of self improvement, development and accountability that they are.
Prepare your support network to look out for you by looking out for them. The rest will take care of itself.